Where Any Two Are Gathered

My ceiling was her floor
A lady I had never seen before
but heard every night going to war
with her situation
that I too, was facing
I thought God forgot about me
I thought that He was punishing me
I thought that He was purposefully ignoring me
and she
was stomping on my ceiling
praying with fire
to get God’s attention
She didn’t accept the silence
when it came to the idleness
of inactivity,
she didn’t acquiesce
And there I was
looking up at my ceiling
putting a roof on God’s power
staring at dust
and not seeing past the stars
Meanwhile my neighbor
was stepping on the heads of scorpions and serpents
speaking in hidden tongues
exercising all her power over the enemy
and it’s after midnight
Wasn’t until years later
that I saw that she was right
about praying at that time of night
when demons
and witches
and spell casters
would come after
God’s sleeping children
in the spirit
I remember I was livid
being in that shelter
being further imprisoned
in a tormented
mind
being cornered mentally
by the enemy
for making me believe
God wasn’t there
and that God didn’t care
Shuffling my body on a second hand bed
with holes and exposed springs
Sweating despite the fan blowing in my unit
whose windows didn’t allow for the movement
of fresh air
and by the time
I finished fighting what was in and out of my mind
my body was in submission to slumber
Then, there she goes with her thunder
Her feet trampling on her floor
but my ceiling
and I knew she was praying but I was reeling
with anger
’cause by this time
it was two o’clock
and I just wanted to sleep
but really deep
down I also
wanted to join her in prayer
to strap on with the Word
take my sword,
and deploy to spiritual warfare
But in there
where
I was in that shelter
fraternizing
and friendship
was forbidden
My frustration was visible
but my desire was kept hidden
in that sistah’s
crushing feet
and her tongue of change
Speaking life
into a place
where we all felt dead
and although I was tired
I stopped complaining
and listened
joining in
with an occasional “Amen”
in hopes that God
would see me again
in hopes that He would answer us both
rekindling the faith that “this too shall pass”

Written by Johndca Spencer© 2019 All Rights Reserved

Image by Lorraine Yow

His Mysterious Ways

I felt like I was out of options
They kept cutting my food stamps off
Had no job interviews and no job
My mama done overdraft her account
and my babies was hungry
I was use to being hungry
Being in the shelter for two years
gave me the habit of eating small
sometimes not even eating at all
just to make sure my kids had something
but this time I didn’t have nothing
My phone was cut off
and I knew my babies was hungry
but they just played and tried to make the most
of what I was gonna do
because I’m Mama
and Mama gotta do something
but like I said I didn’t have nothing
and my own Mama was in the red
trying keep us fed
from what little she had
I couldn’t ask
their dads
for help
They was too busy
serving their own selves
and my head was heavy
not being able to lift it up
knowing I had let my children down
I needed help Lord!
Didn’t know who to ask
’cause every request was met
with a door slammed
in my face
on that No!
I didn’t know
where to go
although
I felt I was already in hell
and hell is broad
Hell is wide
it consumes
all the expanse of your mind
and I was burning
I was melting
waiting to disappear
until I had the urge to
assist the transition
into a position
where hell was physical
I felt I needed to
go to that place
to burn and to suffer
for being an unfit mother
who can’t even feed her children
It seemed like the place I should be
I felt my children would be better off without me
So I wrote a letter delegating the custody
and what to do with all my things
pinned the note
inside my coat
walked up a few blocks
to sit and wait and hope
that the bus
coming down the ave
was travelling fast
so I could jump in front of it
and end
my Black ass
and then my phone rang
and then my PHONE RANG!
and the ID was my future husband’s name
He must’ve felt my pain
and it was a strange thang
because my phone was off
but because we had the same p.s.p
phone service provider
that call magically got thru to me
and he asked me did I need anything
and immediately
I snapped back into myself
snapped back into my role as mother
and I thanked God for my brother
my friend
and my lover
and I said Yes!
took the blessing
and went and fed
my kids
and thank God for the miracle
the miracle of what it is
when God wants you to live!
He showed up
when I had had enough
and proved once again that He is real
and that I ain’t through
with the assignment He gave me to do
which is why I stand before you
I’m still baffled how my husband
knew to call me with what I was going through
or how that call
even made it through at all
I’m just thankful I can tell y’all
about God
and His mysterious ways!

by ©Johndca Spencer 2019 All Rights Reserved

Artwork by: Fred Mathews

The Interrogatives of Another Black Man Down

When the news of tragedy circulates
perking your ears up on that WHAT
Curiosity and anxiety on
WHO it was this time
hoping it’s not somebody you know
Connecting the dots as to WHERE it occurred
knowing it doesn’t make a difference
because every inch of America’s soil
is cursed with the ghosts, blood, and bone dust of it’s sins
Then, finding out WHEN
as you go over in your mind
what you were doing at the time
to discern the changes in the air of a soul leaving it’s body
analyzing whether you felt it or not
Gathering the last bit of info as to HOW did it happen
because there’s only but so many ways they kill our men
Getting shot ain’t no surprise
but those chokeholds are savage
and straight up disrespectful
Finally there’s WHY
which no answer can justify
another Black man down
but Deuteronomy 28 speaks volumes

©Johndca Spencer 2019 All Rights Reserved

Artwork by: Kehinde Wiley

LAST Day of FREE book giveaway!

Today is the LAST day of my FREE poetry book giveaway and if you haven’t downloaded yours and would like a copy, please click the link included in this post. I would like to thank everyone who has downloaded my poetry collection. I hope you are enjoying it and I hope you’ll leave a review. It has been a pleasure sharing a piece of myself with you all. Stay tuned for Book 2 coming soon! #writingcommunity

Published 1st book! (FREE Promotion!)

After 42 years of being on this earth, I finally managed to fulfill a lifelong dream of writing and publishing a book. I pray this is one of many. The book is called “In and Out of Eden” and it’s a collection of urban inspirational poetry. I know that’s a strange combination but it’s the perfect description of it. The poetry is my life in the written form. Not just what I’ve been through but what I think. Everything from homelessness, to sexual abuse, to racism, to glorifying God is within it’s pages. I dedicate an entire chapter to the Most High God because without Him, I would have no story to tell. “In and Out of Eden” is truly “where poetry meets testimony”. I hope you will read me to understand. I’m having a FREE promotion where you can download my book for FREE starting tomorrow Saturday, August 30th, 2019 to Monday, September 2nd, 2019. Please share.  It’s available electronically on Kindle and it’ll be available on paperback in a few days. As always, you can purchase my book at the following link: 

God & His Book

I was over my head in chaos
believing I didn’t need God
under the impression
& the delusion
that I was a fairly decent person
convincing myself that u can’t find God in no book
& that’s when my world was shook
so
that I was brought low
to my knees even
begging for His order

Written by © Johndca Spencer 2019 All Rights Reserved